ON THE LIGHTER SIDE

OK, I know how intense these days can be. Shopping to buy gifts for people you don't like, spending money you don't have, and worrying about the bills it will take next July to catch up on. If you are like me, you can probably use a little humor today. I share this blog to you, which comes from my blogging buddy, Pastor Manning Strickland. Here it is:
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Thanks....I Think! Dear All,

My thanks to all those who have sent me emails this
past year........

I must send my thanks to whoever sent me the one
about rat droppings in the glue on envelopes because I now have to use a wet towel
with every envelope that needs sealing.

Also,I now have to scrub the top of every can I open
for the same reason.

I no longer have any savings because I gave it to a
sick girl (Penny Brown); who is about to die in the hospital for the
1,387,258th time.

I no longer have any money at all, but that will
change once I receive the $15,000 that Bill Gates/Microsoft and AOL are sending me for participating in their special e-mail program .............

Or from the senior bank clerk in Nigeria who wants me
to split $7 million with me for pretending to be a
long-lost relative of
a customer who died intestate.

I no longer worry about my soul because I have
363,214 angels looking out for me, and St. Theresa's novena has granted my every wish.

I no longer use cancer-causing deodorants even though
I smell like a water buffalo on a hot day.

Thanks to you,

I have learned that my prayers only get answered if I
forward e-mail to seven of my friends and make a wish within five
minutes.

Because of your concern I no longer drink Coca-Cola
because it can remove toilet stains.

I no longer can buy gas without taking a friend along
to watch the car so a serial killer won't crawl in my back seat when I'm
filling up.

I no longer go to shopping malls because someone will
drug me with a aftershave sample and rob me.

I no longer answer the phone because someone will ask
me to dial a number for which I will get a phone bill with calls to
Jamaica ,
Uganda , Singapore and Uzbekistan .

Thanks to you, I can't use anyone's toilet but mine because a big brown African spider is lurking under the seat to cause me instant death when it
bites my bum.

And thanks to your great advice,

I can't even pick up the $5.00 I found dropped in the
car park because it probably was placed there by a sex molester waiting
underneath my car to grab my leg.

If you don't send this e-mail to at least 144,000 people in the next 70
minutes, a large dove with diarrhea will land on your head at 5:00pm this
afternoon and the fleas from 12 camels will infest your back, causing you
to grow a hairy hump.

I know this will occur because it actually happened to a friend of my next door neighbor's ex-mother-in-law's second husband's cousin's beauticians relative once removed.

By the way....a South American scientist after a
lengthy study has discovered that people with low IQ always read their e-mails with their hand on the mouse.

Don't bother taking it off now, it's too late!
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That's it for today. You can catch more of Pastor Manning's blogs at www.legacyoutreach.org


Blessings,
Pastor Ronnie