It is barely 6 a.m. as I write this morning, on Christmas Eve. I have already been awake for an hour, and am too excited to sleep. The stockings are hung, the tree is decorated. Gifts are underneath. In the morning Trish and I will wait for our kids to arrive. Three sons, and one daughter, all grown. One grandchild, five years old Zachary. The hung stockings are for Zach, myself (Paw Paw), and Trish (Maw Maw). The family will gather here at our home in the morning. They should all be here somewhere around 10 a.m. Well, not all. One family member will be missing when we sit down for Christmas dinner later.
Tonight at 6 p.m. we will gather across the road at mom and dad's house. My brothers and sisters will be there, their spouses, and children. It is always a house full. We will eat and open presents. It is a family tradition at Christmas time. Not sure who will make it, and who will not be able to. I do know of one face who will be missing.
My excitement and joy is tempered somewhat by the missing faces and empty places. My dad passed away in March after battling for a year with cancer. Dad's place will be empty. I am sure someone will probably be sitting in his recliner. But they wont be sitting in his seat. No one can take his place. He was the patriarch. Imperfect, he would tell you. But he taught us to work, and to treat people fairly. My brothers have a thriving business that is due to his hard work. I am the first born. I remember when the family had nothing, and mom and dad struggled. I remember not having a coat to wear to school. But daddy sacrificed for the home and family. Dad loved Jesus, and is now with him. I have peace in that. But I miss him.
Micheal, my son in law, passed away in July to a four year battle with lymphoma cancer. He had so much going for him, and he was so young. Loved God with all his heart. He was a fire fighter, and served the city of Charlotte as a building inspector. One year to the day he and Tina were wed, they discovered Michael had cancer. Over the next 4 years, treatment, more treatment. Encouraging news, discouraging news. Two stem cell transplants. Michael and Tina struggled, but they kept believing. But it was not to be. Michael's place will be empty. He will not be sitting on the couch talking to Dwayne and watching one of the football games. He will not be playing with Zach. And although it has now been several years since, my wife's mom also passed away after battling cancer. Mary is now with Jesus. Sadly, Trish's family scattered after the death of her mom, and has never been the same.
Going through some pictures on my computer this morning, I ran across one where dad was being presented a trophy by me at our first church car show, in 2008. Daddy's passion was cars. He entered 10 or so, not because he wanted to win a trophy, but to help our church out. It was a fundraiser. Another picture is of Michael. He is wearing a T shirt. You can faintly see the words "Arrgh you ready?" What you can't see is the lower line, which says, "For a cure." The occasion was at our 2007 participation in the Cancer Society Relay for Life. Our church participated, and raised over $1500 for the cause. Our slogan was "Ready for a cure" and we did the Pirate theme. Michael was an avid supporter of the cause.
I know I'm going to enjoy the celebrations with family. And I am not sure if I will say anything about missing them. It is too painful. Mom is lonely, and struggles. Tina (my daughter) has good days and bad days. I don't want to say or do anything that will make what I know to be a difficult time for them even more so. And I am hesitant to write, for I know my daughter will sometimes read my blogs. But I wanted to write this for others, who like us, will find themselves both laughing and crying this Christmas...
Because of missing faces and empty places.
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